Last Saturday was Jenny's 32nd birthday. It was a hard day for me and probably everyone else. I had to try really hard to not yell at my kids who were bugging me and to keep my mind off the fact that Jen isn't here anymore. It was a sunny day (the first one in a long time here in Seattle) so I tried to focus on that and how much she loved sunny days. That helped quite a bit. As I drove around I looked at the beautiful landscape that is everywhere here (springtime in Seattle is gorgeous). I listened to her music on my cd player in my car and I also got to go to a baseball game where my son played. He is really into baseball and is quite good. He did a great job at the game and I thought about how proud Jen would be of him. She and Alex always liked to tease each other about what Major league team was the best. He loves the Yankees and Jen has always been a Red Sox fan. So, all in all, the day turned out to be nice...nice, but sad. I don't know how my mom and Ernie dealt with the day. I'm sure it was difficult. Thinking about that is a little much for me.This e-mail Jen entitled "Fortune Cookie Tell All," and it was sent out on October 3, 2006. Hope you like it:
I got a new set of scriptures about five years ago. Ernie bought them for me for my birthday. Although I loved my old scriptures, they were hard to read. The maps in my triple combination were really stiff and every time I opened my scriptures, the maps would pop straight up in the air. My new scriptures are much nicer and I’ve finally started to wear them in. The other night I was reading in Matthew when I found a fortune from a fortune cookie. I don’t remember putting it in there. The fortune read, “He who loves you, will follow you”. I read it a few times and I’ve contemplated exactly what that could mean. I don’t know what I was thinking when I placed the small slip between the thin pages, but it didn’t matter. Just as the scriptures speak new things to us each time we read them, this small slip of paper meant something completely different to me. I thought of Christ and his disciples, especially Peter who was closest to the Lord. I contemplated how the Lord took Peter with him to the Garden and asked him to wait outside the gates. Peter loved our Savior, but he, undoubtedly exhausted, fell asleep. His spirit was willing, but his flesh was weak. How awful Peter must have felt when Jesus returned to find him and the two sons of Zebedee asleep when Christ needed them most. I wonder how often “my flesh has been weak”. When I’m dozing off in sacrament meeting? When I’m on vacation and break the Sabbath? When I eat breakfast on a fast Sunday? Doesn’t the Lord need us especially now to be vigilant and strong? 
I also think about Paul in his epistle to the Corinthians when he writes, “I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:10). I wish I had learned this on my mission a little better. Instead of feeling beat down and dishearted at the end of my mission, I surely would have grown more and become stronger. I’m learning that principle now, but I still can’t say I’m taking pleasure in my distresses; I am able to still find joy amidst them.
Last Sunday after General Conference, we drove up past Mantua and took some pictures. We climbed into a dry creek bed and stepped carefully, for although the rocks were smooth, the way was still rocky and precarious. Writing about it now, I think it could be a metaphor for our lives. The way is sure, but we must step carefully, lest we fall by the wayside and not reach our destination. My mom and dad came with us and we were able to take some pictures and absorb the autumn splendor. I’m enclosing some of those pictures now.
Next week we are headed for Disneyland. Under normal circumstances I don’t think we’d be going because we really can’t afford it, but we feel compelled to go and spend the time together as a family. I’m excited to see how Erin fares. She loves Cinderella. I think she’ll be ecstatic to “meet” Cinderella. As soon as we arrive home, I start my chemo again. It will be the hardest vacation to come home from ever!
Please continue to pray for us, and for all those who need the Lord’s help at this time (I guess that means everyone).
Love,
Jen

I also think about Paul in his epistle to the Corinthians when he writes, “I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:10). I wish I had learned this on my mission a little better. Instead of feeling beat down and dishearted at the end of my mission, I surely would have grown more and become stronger. I’m learning that principle now, but I still can’t say I’m taking pleasure in my distresses; I am able to still find joy amidst them.
Last Sunday after General Conference, we drove up past Mantua and took some pictures. We climbed into a dry creek bed and stepped carefully, for although the rocks were smooth, the way was still rocky and precarious. Writing about it now, I think it could be a metaphor for our lives. The way is sure, but we must step carefully, lest we fall by the wayside and not reach our destination. My mom and dad came with us and we were able to take some pictures and absorb the autumn splendor. I’m enclosing some of those pictures now.Next week we are headed for Disneyland. Under normal circumstances I don’t think we’d be going because we really can’t afford it, but we feel compelled to go and spend the time together as a family. I’m excited to see how Erin fares. She loves Cinderella. I think she’ll be ecstatic to “meet” Cinderella. As soon as we arrive home, I start my chemo again. It will be the hardest vacation to come home from ever!
Please continue to pray for us, and for all those who need the Lord’s help at this time (I guess that means everyone).

Love,
Jen


