The Spongebob Devil Baby

When I was in Utah I stole some of Jenny's cd's and downloaded them onto my computer (don't call the cops). I haven't had time to go through them and categorize them until this week. I hurt my back so I've been taking it easy and this was a good time. Most of the cd's she had were mixes and not marked as to what was on them so I had to go through them one song at a time. Little did I know that it would be such an emotional roller coaster. I don't know how many songs I had but probably around 150. Jenny and I have always had similar taste in music. She had a more eclectic library, however. There were so many songs that remind me of her. So many songs from our childhood and teenage years. There were also a lot that I'd never heard before. Anyway, I was crying on and off for several days. We were taught to love music from an early age in our house. Our Mom is an incredible piano player and choir leader and my Dad is a terrific singer. Music was just a part of our lives and we were introduced to Neil Diamond and Simon and Garfunkle early on. I think Jen liked music because it could define a mood. I like it for that same reason. Sometimes I don't know how to get a feeling or emotion out and I'll hear a song that says exactly what I want to say. I love those moments. Jenny could write poetry and do this and she loved the poetry in music. Her music was another gift she left me. Thanks, Jen.

This e-mail was sent on February 13, 2007 and it's entitled "The Spongebob Devil Baby." Hope you like it.

I have had kind of a hectic week. I was able to go visit my best friend from high school, Jennie Sykes (Schwenk). She lives in Green Bay in a lovely old house that was exactly what I pictured her house would look like. I was able to meet her son, Alrick, who is Erin’s age and adorable! and to see Jennie’s husband, Charles again. They were both such wonderful hosts. Jennie and I mostly stayed inside (it was sooo cold) and I haven’t laughed that hard in a really long time. It was so nice to see her again – it was like absolutely no time had elapsed since she and I saw each other. She’s been such a wonderful friend and I was happy to celebrate her thirtieth birthday with her and her family and friends. I’m sending a picture of me at Lambeau Field.

We also celebrated Ernie’s birthday. He’s been working all hours of the night doing the finish work at the new house. I surprised him with his favorite, a German dish, Rouladen and Spaetzle. I set up a table in the new house and had some music playing. I lit some candles, but we still had to have the work light on (what was I thinking?). It was meant to be a surprise, but he figured I was up to something. He’s 29 now and talking about how old he feels. I tell him he can’t complain about being old at 29 -- he needs to wait until he’s at least 79 to start complaining about that. It was a really wonderful experience and it was nice to just spend some time together and I really love spending time with him.

The house should be finished by the end of this month (fingers crossed). It’s such a wonderful feeling to know that Erin will grow up with the same view from her front porch as I did. I’m enclosing some pictures. Ernie did the finish work. I helped a little bit with the closets. He cut the boards and I glued and nailed the shelves to the walls. It was a lot of fun and I can understand why powertools have such an appeal!

I got the results from my MRI today and everything looks great. The tumor is continuing to shrink – yea! I have to go back in two months this time because of a small dot they think is a small vascular rupture from the radiation. It’s perfectly round, so it’s most likely nothing serious. Julia is always very honest with me and she gave me no indication that this was very serious. Maybe this is the Lord’s way of keeping me humble. I’m learning so much about humility -- something I’ve always lacked in the past.

Erin and I have developed sort of a ritual at night when I put her to bed. I put her in her crib (she usually gets pretty mad at this point and starts screaming) then I pick up her “babies” (2 Carebears and a Spongebob dressed like the devil). They tell her how tired or cold they are and then Erin’s little heart gives in and holds each one and she stops crying. She gives them hugs and kisses and wraps them up in receiving blankets. When it’s time for me to leave I explain to her that I’ll be right outside the door if she needs me. She has learned that I keep that promise, so those words mean a lot to her. Sometimes she’ll call out for something, or reassurance, but most of the time she just wraps up her babies and then falls to sleep.

Last night in my prayers I thought about the importance of having someone there. If Erin is afraid because of the darkness or because she has had a bad dream, she knows she can cry out and that I’ll hear her and come and comfort her. I reassure her of my presence, and when necessary, let her stay with me through the night. I felt the Spirit as I made a connection between my love for my children and my Heavenly Father’s love for me and desire to protect me. When my life is dark and I can’t see any light, I can call out to Him, my Father. He will comfort me, and when necessary, stay with me through “the night”. He doesn’t make the darkness go away, but rather gives us comfort until the daylight comes once more – as it will for all of us that carry heavy burdens. . .“Come unto me all ye that labour or are heavy burdened, and I will give you rest . . .”

Happy Valentines Day!

Love,
Jen