I am having a hard time lately. I feel like I will burst from the pain from missing Jenny. I suppose this is to be expected. I'll be fine one minute and an emotional wreck the next. My husband, Martin and I went to the Olive Garden to eat last Saturday night. I was just thinking I hadn't been there for a while and I was excited to go because I love the food. When we were there waiting to be seated I remember a time, not too long ago, that Jenny and I went to the Olive Garden together alone for lunch, when I was visiting in Utah. It was a few years ago, before Erin was born, but I remember that we had so much fun talking and enjoying the food. Nostalgia got the best of me and the next thing I knew there were tears in my eyes. Silly really, but true. I am really glad that I live in Seattle where I don't have to drive by her house and all the places that remind me of her. She was here visiting last year this same time. Spring was one of her favorite things.
This email was entitled "Another MRI and something to be grateful for." It was sent out on November 21, 2006. She talks about the little home in Ogden that she and Ernie and their little family lived in while their home next to my mom and sister was being built. It was a cute little house or duplex that Ernie's sister and brother in law let them live in for a while. This is a photo of them there. I love the way Erin is sitting there!
Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I am thankful for so many things this time of year. I got the results from my MRI today. It was really great news. My PA, Julia, was visibly excited as she showed me the last MRI from June and the MRI results from yesterday. The little bits of tumor that remained after the surgery are still shrinking. Julia told me and Ernie that means the Temodar is working. Of course, I had imagined every scenario in my mind leading up to today’s appointment (whether I wanted to or not). It’s nice going into the Holidays to know I’m going to be around for awhile (God willing). The MRI was pretty easy this time. I slept through a lot of it (owing to my lack of sleep with two little girls) but when they injected the contrast into my arm and put me back in the tube, it felt like a bee was knocking around in my head – or a pinball. It didn’t hurt, but it was a very odd, very unpleasant sensation. Apparently a lot of people report little neurological disturbances like this after receiving the contrast. I felt it again a little bit this morning and it made it so I couldn’t sleep – It was driving me nuts!
I’m reading a terrific book called “The Peacegiver” and I highly recommend it to anyone who has had problems in their families or even just in their own lives. Through a fictional story, the author subtly helps the reader begin to understand Christ’s Atonement for us. It was hard for me to put down last night and go to sleep. I’m excited to get my hands on it again tonight (that is, if I can get Erin to go to bed already!).
My dad would always think he was funny at Thanksgiving, and as we would sit down at Thanksgiving dinner with all of those tantalizing once-a-year foods sitting in front of us all warm and tasty, he would say we needed to go around the table and say what we were grateful for. Since he was doing it largely to annoy and antagonize my mother, we usually didn’t have to do it, but it might have been something nice to do after dinner as we were all dropping off to sleep due to our gluttonous appetites. :o) If I were sitting at a Thanksgiving table right now, these are the things I would list:
Of course, the first thing I am thankful for is the knowledge that I am the daughter of a Heavenly King, who loves me and cares very much for my spiritual welfare. To quote Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “”plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Secondly, I am thankful for my family, and for Ernie’s family, and for those friends that I grew up with that are very much like family. The Lord gave us families to help us enjoy the good times, to get us through the bad times, and to test us; for I believe that there is so much to learn from those family quarrels – will we choose family, our blood, over other things like money? Will we be slow to forgive family members for the little and big transgressions against us?
I’m thankful for the cozy little home we are living in now. It’s crammed (should I say it?) full of love (too cheesy?). It’s nice and warm and, although it’s taken some getting used to, I love that Erin has a little yard to play in. I wish I spent more time outside with her. It feels like I spend all of my time cleaning the house, doing laundry, cooking, etc.
I’m going to have to wrap this up now – both kids are asleep in the same room where I’m typing this! I hope I can finish it tomorrow.
Jenny
I’m reading a terrific book called “The Peacegiver” and I highly recommend it to anyone who has had problems in their families or even just in their own lives. Through a fictional story, the author subtly helps the reader begin to understand Christ’s Atonement for us. It was hard for me to put down last night and go to sleep. I’m excited to get my hands on it again tonight (that is, if I can get Erin to go to bed already!).
My dad would always think he was funny at Thanksgiving, and as we would sit down at Thanksgiving dinner with all of those tantalizing once-a-year foods sitting in front of us all warm and tasty, he would say we needed to go around the table and say what we were grateful for. Since he was doing it largely to annoy and antagonize my mother, we usually didn’t have to do it, but it might have been something nice to do after dinner as we were all dropping off to sleep due to our gluttonous appetites. :o) If I were sitting at a Thanksgiving table right now, these are the things I would list:
Of course, the first thing I am thankful for is the knowledge that I am the daughter of a Heavenly King, who loves me and cares very much for my spiritual welfare. To quote Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “”plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Secondly, I am thankful for my family, and for Ernie’s family, and for those friends that I grew up with that are very much like family. The Lord gave us families to help us enjoy the good times, to get us through the bad times, and to test us; for I believe that there is so much to learn from those family quarrels – will we choose family, our blood, over other things like money? Will we be slow to forgive family members for the little and big transgressions against us?
I’m thankful for the cozy little home we are living in now. It’s crammed (should I say it?) full of love (too cheesy?). It’s nice and warm and, although it’s taken some getting used to, I love that Erin has a little yard to play in. I wish I spent more time outside with her. It feels like I spend all of my time cleaning the house, doing laundry, cooking, etc.
I’m going to have to wrap this up now – both kids are asleep in the same room where I’m typing this! I hope I can finish it tomorrow.
Jenny
2 comments:
Thanks Heather. I hadn't seen the Dad poem to the side before. I LOVE that. It reminds me of my days on the bale wagon with my own dad. I hope you are doing better today. I love you!
Thank you Heather for posting. I met your sister once and I'm sad that I didn't get to know her better. I enjoy what you write and I also get a lot out of reading what Jenny had to say in her messages. I love the one about naming "Phoenix" I love the whole message behind that story. I know how you feel about crying at different times. The pain comes in waves and you have to just ride it out and in. Lame as that sounds. It's true though. We had a friend pass away awhile back and that was how it was with thinking of him. Something would trigger thoughts of him and I would start to cry. You have to allow yourself to feel it. To remember her, to hold on to her.Keep posting.
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